I was waiting for my lunch to arrive in a mamak coffee shop, staring out on the street, looking at the lunch hour rush, somehow it dawns on me that I was totally "blank' as if staring into abyss. I snapped out of my blank thoughts and start thinking of the future of me and my family. I feel like a captain steering my ship in uncharted territory, where no land at sight, only the flat horizon of the vast ocean. Yet I knew we are heading somewhere, what is dangerous is I don't know where. My family depends on me on this voyage, we are a team and I'm the leader who are totally clueless of our destination. Out in front I can't see any land, though the sky is clear, I know storms are waiting to hit anytime, waves will rock our tiny ship, and at times it will last for days. On stormy night, it will be pitch black, darkness will surround our ship, waves will overflow unto the ship, creaking boards, swaying lamps, seasickness will dampen our spirit. At time giving up was the only option, I just raise my hands to nature and just as I about to accept defeat,the storm will subside and twinkling shining stars becomes inspiration for me to carry on, a beacon of hope in time of desperation. I can't give up, I can't raise my hands up, not now, not until its over. Looking at my beautiful wife, two beautiful children, how can I give up , how can I destroy their hope and dreams, NO, I won't give up no matter how high the tidal waves will hit our ship, no matter how dark it will be, how cold, how wet, how hungry, how desperate, how discouraging, how hopeless, I WILL NOT GIVE UP, with GOD's help and blessing I will steer our ship to a place where we can recoup, reenergise, reorganize strategise until our next voyage. The Somewhere becomes clearer, the path becomes obvious, the commitment will grow stronger. Life is a series of voyages that I will go through until I rest at the Shore where Almighty God our Father awaits me. I WILL UNTIL.
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